An Essay on Community from a Chipotle Drink Cup

CultivatingThought2Cups_Kingsolver02I was eating lunch yesterday at Chipotle with my family and I happened to notice this short essay on my drink cup. It’s from an author named Barbara Kingsolver and it is apart of a series of writing called Cultivating Thought. Here is what she wrote,

TWO-MINUTE CHEER FOR THE HOME TEAM
by BARBARA KINGSOLVER

The ancient human social construct that once was common in this land was called community. We lived among our villagers, depending on them for what we needed. If we had a problem, we did not discuss it over the phone with someone in Mumbai. We went to a neighbor. We acquired food from farmers. We listened to music in groups, in churches or on front porches. We danced. We participated. Even when there was no money in it. Community is our native state. You play hardest for a hometown crowd. You become your best self. You know joy. This is not a guess, there is evidence. The scholars who study social well-being can put it on charts and graphs.

The happiest people are the ones with the most community.

In the last 30 years our material wealth has increased in this country, but our self-described happiness has steadily declined. Elsewhere, the people who consider themselves very happy are not in the very poorest nations, as you might guess, nor in the very richest. The winners are Mexico, Ireland, Puerto Rico, the kinds of places we identify with extended family, noisy villages, a lot of dancing. The happiest people are the ones with the most community.

Many people will read this essay and agree with the author’s general point. The world is not what it was. The simpler times that we once knew are no more and many of us long to return to them. While I agree that the picture that the author paints is of a time and place that I can remember in some aspects. What I take away from this essay is the last line.

“The happiest people are the ones with the most community.”

The people who I know who feel the most happiness in this life are the ones who choose to spend it with other people. To let other people into our lives and walk with us is one of
the smartest and at the same time one of the most humble things we can do. As a Small Group Pastor I have seen firsthand the power of this played out in the lives of the people who I pastor and also in my own life.

The world is desperately in need of community! Not the kind of fake, I know you online but have no clue what happens in your life from Monday-Friday kind of community! Invite others into your life. Make lunch and coffee appointments with someone and watch your level of happiness rise. We were never made to make this journey alone! Seek out the happiness you may be missing by connecting with other people around a table, sharing a meal, and enjoying the blessing of community.

On a scale of…

Brass_scales_with_cupped_traysMy five-year old daughter has a new habit of putting simple things on a scale. Recently she said to me “Daddy I am hungry! It’s like a 100 out of 100.” We laugh at how she is putting her hunger on a scale, but we often do this exact thing but with things like our goodness, generosity, or maybe our financial status. We get into the “compare game” and say to ourselves “well I am not as bad as (fill in the blank)”.  This attitude is so subtle but it is incredibly dangerous! It is dangerous because it lulls us into believing that the flaws in our character are not something we should be working on because there is no motivation to change them. More importantly it causes us to withdraw from an attitude of dependence on God. A God who accepts us for who we really are despite our flaws. We in essence become a “pharisee” who looks down on the shortcoming of others while “white-washing” our own faults. Jesus in Gospels saved his sternest rebukes for people in this camp!

The challenge for all of us is to not compare! When we are tempted to go down that road we need to stop ourselves and realize that all of us fall short in some area of our lives. And we serve a God who has made up for all of our short-comings in the person of Jesus Christ who died on the cross. So let me ask you:

What area(s) of your life are you apt to compare yourself to others? How can you focus on helping others overcome their shortcoming instead of comparing yourself to them?

Getting into the Mess of People’s Lives

I don’t like messes! It is somewhat therapeutic for me to say that but on the other hand I am aware that trying to avoid messes can be a very difficult and sometimes tall order. I am a father of two girls who both like to make a mess on a daily basis. I am also a Pastor and in my job I am required to deal with people who are not always at their best. I am asked to insert myself into their mess! For me that is not always a pleasant experience but one that we need to be comfortable embracing. I have been very challenged by this idea recently as I see in the life and ministry of Jesus no hesitation to insert and in fact place himself directly into people’s messes.

In the gospel of John chapter 9 we see Jesus directly get involved in the life of a man who had simply been born blind. His disciples were simply passing by and took the occasion to ponder the ramifications of our sin upon our bodies. Jesus turns the focus of the discussion off the circumstances that resulted in this man being blind into healing him and the act of the healing being a catalyst for further dialogue between Jesus and the Jewish leaders who were seeking a way to get rid of him. Notice how Jesus inserts himself into this man’s life.

Having said these things, he spit on the ground and made mud with the saliva. Then he anointed the man’s eyes with the mud and said to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which means Sent). So he went and washed and came back seeing” John 9:6-7 (ESV)

 And after literally getting himself dirty by ‘spitting on the ground and making mud with his saliva’ Jesus continued to be involved in this man’s life because his healing created another set of circumstances that saw this man standing before the Pharisees and answering questions.

Sometimes getting involved in someone’s life does not end with one-act, but may require a longer commitment. This is the part that is troubling for many of us. We like the kettle outside of the retail stores at Christmas because we simply throw some money into it and go on our way. Volunteering to go down to the Salvation Army and actually having to spend time with people and getting to hear their story. Too messy! The reality is that a majority of the people who walk into our churches each Sunday have one mess or another going on in their life. Some people have done a really good job of hiding their mess so that it’s hidden from plain sight, but it’s still there! We need to be comfortable with messy people and be willing to insert ourselves into their lives because the end result is life change. The man born blind saw his life changed because Jesus was willing to get messy are you?

A response to ‘2 unintended consequences of the idea that “anyone can lead a group”

Last week Eric Geiger wrote a post on his blog in which he talked about two of the ‘unintended consequences’ that have come out of the method that some churches use like Saddleback of recruiting people to be hosts for their small groups. There are many churches, because of their size, that need to recruit a lot of leaders and they have adopted a pragmatic philosophy that in order to lead a small group you do not have to be super spiritual, or posses a Bible College degree. You simply have to be open to leading and have a growing relationship with God. Geiger says that this creates an identity crisis because you are asking them to fill a role of leadership when they are not fit or ready to lead because you have not asked them to be a leader but a host. I would disagree with Geiger that ‘not just “anyone” can lead them. If “anyone” can lead them, then the groups cannot possibly be expected to provide nurture and community that is rooted in the Word’. Have we not moved beyond the battles of clergy and laity? Must these people be in full-time ministry to lead a small group? or pray? Or provide accountability? I think we would all agree that anyone can do these things and can be trained to do them. Maybe it is merrily and argument of semantics but in my view a leader and a host are not that much different but it ultimately comes down to what is the church asking these people to do in the role they are recruiting them to? If we are asking them to just host some people and not provide any leadership then it incorrect to call them leaders. But say we call them ‘hosts’ and we train them to do all the things a leader does, should it matter that they are called a ‘host’? I think the bottom line is we have to be clear in explaining the role we are recruiting people to volunteer for and if it is a leadership role then we need to have a process of leadership development in place to train people to lead others. Geiger’s second point is in my opinion akin to stereotyping and name calling. If the goal is that people are getting into community (which he admits is good) is it fair to criticize their method for doing so? While I agree with his premise that just because you can place play on DVD player does not mean you are disciplining people. I would not label any church that is using this method as “consumerist’.  This sort of pontificating and broad-stroke stereotyping is exactly what we are not called to do as believers. I would suggest that instead of criticizing their method that we challenge them to consider how they will use their method to ‘make disciples’ and if they cannot give a good answer to sit down with them and help create a plan for making it happen. FInally, blogs of this kind make for good copy but in the end all they end of doing is create more disunity. This post contains no suggestions or action items for church who are using this system to be challenged to examine whether they are being effective. Is it just one person taking a shot at an entire system and that to me is sad. My prayer is that we can just agree that people need community! People need to be discipled and we rally around how to see that happen and not criticize the methods that we employ to do it.

Must you be organized to lead?

LeadershipI have been thinking a lot about leadership and specifically the organizational ability of the leader. There are two ways of looking at this issue. The first is that a leader is anyone who can influence others and that organizational ability is something that can be delegated to someone else. The way of looking at this is that while you may be able to lead through your influence, you will be less than effective because the inability to organize, plan, create systems will hold you back.

If history is any indicator then it has shown us that a lack of organizational ability has not limited some of the great leaders throughout the ages. Part of that many be due in large part to their ‘personality’ as people often are attracted to larger than life figures who capture our attention. There are countless examples of these kind of leaders and when we look back on them we often think of them as a ‘leader’ but not necessary dwell on how organized they were or were not.

Question: Is being organized an integral part of being a leader?

The Remaining Key Traits for a Small Groups Pastor – Part 7 of the Changing Nature of the Small Group Pastor’s Role

change-ahead-hrYesterday I described what I believe to be two of the four ‘core competencies’ that are needed to be a successful Small Groups Pastor. Today I will give you the remaining two.

3) Strategic Orientation

Intellectual curiosity supplied the trait to ask the ‘why’ question and strategic orientation takes the knowledge gained into how to fix the problem. When this is applied to Small Groups, it enables the point leader for groups to align vision with a strategy for accomplishing that vision. Of all the competencies that have been discussed, this one area is the most crucial to being successful as a Small Groups Pastor. Donahue and Robinson speak to this fact when they write[1] ‘Due to the decentralized nature of a groups ministry, creating a “together outcome” from independent leaders who are being empowered to shepherd their little flocks requires a point leader with a strategic orientation competency.’

From my experience, this one area is where group’s ministry is seeing the biggest change. When churches are small and their group system is only reaching 10% – 40% of their average attendance, the groups pastor or point person can afford to not be strategic because the system that is being used is not exceeding the parameters of what it was intended. When a church starts to reach and average attendance of between 500 – 1000 people a week and their groups ministry begins to average 50% – 75% involvement in groups, then that pastor will be forced to take a look at whatever system is in place and begin to evaluate the whole lot. This is because the existing small groups ‘system’ will have or will shortly be exceeding it’s intended parameters. This is where having a strategic orientation is crucial because it allows the groups pastor to look at the entire system and ask the crucial question of ‘how are we going to get from here to there’?

4) ‘Others Focus’

In the business world this would be known as a ‘customer service orientation’ but in world of ministry it is being able to look at every program, decision, initiative, or announcement through the eyes of the people who it affects; the church congregation. Because small group ministry is very decentralized, it is easy to lose touch with people when making a policy change or decision. This competency keeps the groups pastor from making a decision without first considering how it will affect the ‘average Joe” attending a particular group.

 

Question: If you were making a list of the key traits that are needed to be a Small Group Pastor, what would you include?

 

 

 

 

[1] Donahue, Bill & Robinson, Russ. Building a Life-Changing Small Group Ministry. (2012).

The Key Traits for a Small Group Pastor – Part 6 of the Changing Nature of the Small Group Pastor’s Role

Core competencies have their roots in the business world and where first introduced in 1990 change-ahead-hrby the Harvard Business Review. They have since been developed and applied to the hiring practices of both for-profit and non-profit companies as they began to learn about the ‘type’ of person that was needed to be successful in a particular role. When it comes to the small group champion or pastor of a church, there are at least four that Donahue & Robinson believe must be present in order for that individual to be successful in their role. (I am going to list 2 today and 2 tomorrow)

1) Conceptual thinking

This is the ability to pinpoint the problem in what is otherwise a chain of seemingly unrelated and amorphous experiences. It allows the groups pastor the ability to focus, with laser precision, on the one issue or problem that is preventing their ministry from growing. This person will always say that they know what to do, even when no one else on the team does!

This skill is crucial as a ministry becomes larger and more complex. Without the ability to quickly analyze what is happening and quickly paint a picture of what is needed to ‘fix the problem’ a small group ministry could be crippled without this skill set. Ministry often does not lend itself to acquiring this type of competency which is why many churches are hiring staff from out of the business world where they had a much greater exposure and awareness of how this skill set is used a leadership position.

2) Intellectual Curiosity

The intellectually curious always begin with the question of ‘why’ and in the case of a Small Group Pastor they are also on a quest to understand how things are going now so that they can be made better in the future. This trait is most evident in the person who is never satisfied with the ‘first answer’ but will continue to ask the question until they are satisfied with the outcome or response. While understanding the outcomes has its place, in this trait the ability to ‘keep mining’ for answers is what is most important.

If the trait of intellectual curiosity is absent, as is the case in many leaders and ministries, it will fall into ‘predictable patterns’ and plateau. Conversely, By never standing pat and always pushing to answer the ‘why’ question, the small group pastor is constantly digging for answers that will lead him or her into making changes to the structure or philosophy which will propel the ministry to break whatever barrier is in front of them.

 

Question: What experience do you have with seeing these two competencies in action as part of your Small Group ministry?